So this is going to be a post that is really hard to write, but I feel I should share my struggles because there may be someone out there who is in the same boat I was and needs someone who understands what they're going through, so here it goes. For a year or so, I was embarrassed and ashamed to talk about my health, but I realize now, that it may help someone else. I try and keep my health/personal life personal, but I feel this is important and what I am being lead to do.
As many people know, my husband Josh and I have been married for 2 years. They've been good years for the most part, but ever couples undergoes struggles and this is one of the biggest ones for us. It started about 2 years ago for us, we had just gotten married and started to think about our futures and what we wanted to do in them. The discussion, of course, brought up the question of whether or not we wanted children. For me, there was never any doubt in my mind that I didn't want to be a mother, it's something I had dreamed of being for years. Needless to say, I was smart enough to know that I needed to wait until I felt the time was right to start trying. I knew at 20, I wasn't prepared and neither was Josh; we wanted to enjoy our lives as newlyweds, so that is what we did.
Then, about a year and a half ago, I started to realize that I had not had a period in a very very long time. I don't know how long it had been, but I knew that I hadn't had one in at least 6 months. I knew something was wrong, but kept trying to convince myself that maybe my body was still trying to cleanse itself of the birth control that I had taken for 5-6 years prior. I knew that I needed to do the adult, smart thing and make an appointment with a doctor to get a pap done to see what was going on. The sad thing was, since I'm hardly ever sick, the hospital had dropped me as a patient and my physician refused to see me anymore. I then decided to call the same hospital and attempt to get an appointment with the Women's Clinic and to my luck, I was able to do so. I described to the nurse that I had not had a period in a while and that I needed to be checked out, so I was set up for a n appointment.
A few weeks later (summer of 2009) I went to the appointment. I was terrified. I felt liek most people would think I was a total idiot for going so long without a period to schedule an appointment. The OB-GYN was really nice and gave me a pap. The reading came back unreadable. If I wasn't scared before, I was terrified now. A few weeks later I was referred to another OB-GYN, this time a male to figure out why my results came back bad. I had never, ever had a male doctor before, but at that point, I sucked it up and dealt with it because I needed to try and get healthy. He gave me another pap and then decided to ask me questions about my cycle health. He asked if I had gained a rapid amount of weight and I told him yes (About 60 pounds in 2 years). I also was sprouting hairs on my neck, chin, throat, etc. He told me he thought that my bosy had stopped producing progesterone and instead had starting to release excess amounts of testosterone, explaining the hair growth in weird places. He also felt that I may have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I had never heard of the condition prior to that visit, but basically, the body stops ovulating and producing progesterone. The folicals them form cysts on the ovaries as a reult of not being releases in a monthly cycle. He told me that it would explain the testosterone and hair growth, along with weight gain. It also makes trying to concieve extremely hard. I felt my whole world had shattered; I felt hopeless, broken, and like I wasn't a normal person. All my life, I wanted to be a mom, and now I may not be able to be and it broke my heart.
I then had an pelvic ultrasound done to see if I did in fact have cysts on my ovaries. I watched the lab tech scan my uterus and ovaries and knew that there was at least one. The OB-GYN later confirmed that I did have one water filled cyst on my right ovary. It wasn't solid filled, which was a plus, but it was about the size of a golf ball. I was put on a synthetic form of progesterone for 10 days to see if it would cause my body to ovulate and restart the cycle. To my surprise, it did and it gave me a step of hope.
I then took a month supply of birth control to have a cycle (even though not body controlled). A month later I went in for my 2nd pelvic ultrasound. I was probably more scared than before as I got scanned. I felt like the cyst had spread and watched the screw like a hawk. I then went too have the results read to me, and it was the best news of my life. The periods I had had, flushed out my system and the cyst had collapsed on it's own. I was cyst free! The OB-Gyn felt I had made a 100% turnaround and released me to start trying to conceive and only come back yearly or if something had happened.
I am so so lucky that my body is back to normal, I've had regular cycles for 7-8 months that were completely controlled by my body, not by pills or birth control. My husband and I started trying for a baby in December and so far nothing has happened, but I feel like it's going to soon. God has healed me and blessed me. I have hope and know that I will get to enjoy parent hood soon :) I do admit, that it does get aggravating when people ask me when we're going to have a baby. We've been trying hard and hopefully it'll happen soon. So please, just have patience lol.
I know that PCOS is becoming more frequent among young women and it can feel like the end of the world. If you have any questions, I'm more than happy to answer them and help out in any way I can. You're not alone and it's not the end of the road, God answers prayers :)
Last Saturday I got up and took a fertility test )the one from First Response). I had to wait 30 minutes for results ( felt like forever!!!) but needless to say it was positive!!! Yay! That means that we need to keep trying :) Just proof, that there are answers to prayers!